Jacqueline Novogratz: Inspiring a life of immersion

Built Like a "Black Girl"

***I wrote this in 11/7/2010 and never posted it but in light of recent events in the death of a young woman getting but injections, I thought it was more than appropriate to post this.***

Butt implant death begs question: Do big bottoms lead to the top?

Since I can remember image was everything in my life. Until recently however, I've come to terms that I was not meant to be built the way black girls are supposed to be build according to the psyche of black men, but am content in the slim figure that I've so been blessed with. 

Growing up I can recall how during my sixth grade year, every girl acquired their hips and were full figured "women" except myself; if anything I had two watermelons for breast, which I was more than uncomfortable with, especially among the gawking eyes of nasty  pedophiles---or excuse me older men. Needless to say I mastered the skill of dressing like a tomboy during those years. My uniform culottes were about 2 sizes too big to cover up the fact that my hips had not yet come in and I wore shirts that covered up my abnormal sized breasts. This was the case for as long as I can recall, hoping and praying that my hips would come in and I would one day be a full figured thick black girl, you know the chic with the Coco-Cola Bottled figure. However at age 24, as I continue to evolve into womanhood (an on-going process), my hips have failed to come in according to the definition of what it means to be shaped like a black girl and men may never  learn such etiquette such as it is not polite to glare at a woman's "pronounced" features. I've not only come to terms with my body but even more importantly, I am comfortable and accepting of my image, so much so if  I catch the opposite sex glaring I'll boldly ask may I help them and school them on the etiquette of being a polite man. 

The point in me writing my little spiel is to question when will the black girl's body not be so heavily focused on? Its ridiculous that little girls can not simple be little girls without falling prey to the asinine idea that they must fulfill this bodily image of a coco-cola bottle shaped Kim Kardashian or Buffie the Body! When will she simply get to BE without always being conscious of her body? Granted the illusions of body image is an issue that does not discriminate, when will little girls and in some instances grown women be allowed the simple pleasure to just BE...comfortable and uninhibited without the extreme consciousness of their body make up? 

Blog Name Change...

Where in the beginning my blog was more of a personal documentation of my life journey; I have concluded that it has developed itself into not only an extension of myself to you; however, more so of a positive and engaging place for women of color. Emphasizing the fact that despite what society tries to define us as, WE ultimately define who it that we are.

Thus said, as of next week I will be changing the name of the blog to something that is more inclusive to women of color seeking to drown themselves in positivity and goodness in hopes of becoming the virtuous women that we were created to be.

Many Blessings!

***The picture is by Terry Wilson***

Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades. A mode of conduct, a standard of courage, discipline, fortitude, and integrity can do a great deal to make a woman beautiful.”

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This in Black History

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In 1990, Nelson Mandela was released from prison after remaining behind bars for 27 years. Mandela was an anti-apharteid activist in South Africa and served as a leader of Umkhonto we Sizwe, an armed nationalist wing of the African National Congress. He was arrested in 1962 and sentenced to life in prison on charges of sabotage. After his release from prison, many of those days which he spent on Robben Island, he lead negotiations for a multi-racial democracy in 1994. He was elected president of South Africa and served from 1994 to 1999. Mandela has won over 250 awards, including the Nobel Peace Prize in 1993.

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For Colored Girls

This movie will forever be embedded in my memory. Although not of the generation of Ntozoki Shange's I do own the book, For Colored Girl, but to say the least, this movie was amazing and is definitely DVD purchasing worthy. It not only higlights the struggles the black women but also depict how we overcome those struggles. Hands down it is a riveting movie and I'll definitely be purchasing it tonight.

My So Called "Incompatibility" w/ Black Men

Lately I've been toiling with the idea of not limiting myself when it comes to men. I've, candidly, always seen myself with a black man and for a long time sworn off any men of the Caucasian race. However lately Ive been having the feeling that maybe I am limiting myself in only opening up myself to men who belong to my race. Through various conversations and personal reflections, I've come to the realization that at the end of the day love has no color. In personally coming to terms with this, I confided in my mother earlier this week that I am opening myself to dating outside of my race at which her response was thank the Lord! Hallelujah!, which is a whole other conversation in itself. Content with my decision I texted three of my male black friends and my close girlfriend to tell them the... I guess... good news.

Their reactions were more along the lines of being shockingly surprised. However one response really had me vexed. One of my male friends responded with "Well maybe it isnt black men, Pascale. Maybe it just might be that you are incompatible with black men." Can you say ARRRG! Like who the hell says that???

Maybe you're not compatible with black men???

Just exactly what makes a black woman compatible with a black man, is what I'd like to know. Is there some type of compatibility test that determines whether black men and black women are compatible with one another? Honestly I've never heard such an ignorant comment.

It ridiculous to think that I have to somehow make myself compatible with black men in order to have a fair chance in the dating game. If I have to change who it is that I am in order to date black men, simply put I dont want any part of it. 

Society has really screwed us all up, to even have us think that we need some type of validation from one another. I don't need someone else to dictate to me what it is that I need or am lacking in order to have a fair chance in the world of dating. Its one thing to be critical but that comment was simply over the freaking top!