Tests of Faith

 Like the swaying of tall & limber trees, everything is a reflection of the divinity of the Most High, the natural elements, winds & storms attempt to knock them down but deeply rooted they stand tall not faltering in their stature.

We too experience life circumstances which attempt to knock us down...but if deeply rooted in faith with feet firmly planted in his word, we too will not falter...

Life is nothing more than a test of faith...yet while going through the test we often fail to realize that it is in fact a test of our faith in the One True God. Not acknowledging that our circumstances do not define who we are we often walk around with a cloud of doom over our heads failing to focus our energy on the Most High and having devout faith in Him. Our tests in our faith simply is to let go & let God/Yah, trusting in him and not leaning upon our own understanding.

While going through my own test of faith I read a post on Tumblr that read "Satan will always try to kill the seed of your promise before it reaches fruition" referring to Ephesians 4:27 "Do not give the devil an opportunity to work". The enemy has ways with interfering with our blessings when we allow fear to dictate our goals, dreams, and sometimes our lives. Scripture says that fear is not of the Creator. Fear is essentially the absence of faith. Many times we allow doubt to block the blessings that are rightfully ours. Think about about the story of the Israelites being led out of captivity from Egypt to Canaan, the promised land filled with milk & honey. The reason why they wandered in the wilderness for 40years was because they provoked Yah through their doubt of His word:

"...unbelief was a sin they often & long been guilty of, and which greatly prevailed among them, & was the root of all their murmurings, mutiny, and rebellion; and that was highly provoking to Yah, since they have ought to have believed Him, & that he was able to make good, and make good His promises to them..."

A Love Unbeknowst to You

Not knowing but knowing you are the one for me, If I had to choose he would be the exact prototype of your being, But as we know it is man who finds his wife who in turn finds a good thing, not the other way around... I wish I could express it...but afraid I choose not to allow words to fall from trembling lips, Fearful the moment my feelings are expressed, the more real they'll become I always knew that I'd be with a Yah fearing man, one humble in character & generous in nature Often I wonder could it be you You have brought me to a place I've never been before, Living in sin you've taken me to a spiritual realm explored by our physical entities, Our sins realized we now lay at the feet of Yah asking for forgiveness And seeking the path that He wishes you & I -us - to walk, Blessed with wisdom beyond your age, it is your mental that I am impressed with, your thirst for Yah and self knowledge, hence I sometimes refer to you as Solomon Like Queen Sheba I'd most willingly bring you jewels to bask in your presence and soak up your wisdom, however I'd gladly give up my kingdom to rule as queen by your side, But these feelings I would never speak, But if by chance they show through the gaze in my eye and if your eyes meet mine and see emotions hidden deep within will you realize my love for you, But until our eyes meet and reveal love felt.... I hold these feelings to myself, Unbeknowst to you...

Honoring Yah Through My Story

Sitting at lunch with two of my elders whom I have a lot of respect for we somehow landed on the topic of the importance of telling our stories. And how we honor The One True Creator through the telling of our stories. As I listened to their words I could not help but recall the words of Iyanla Vanzant in a recent Essence magazine; she not only mentioned how we honor Yah/God through our stories but how our individual stories may also be a testimony to others in their life journey. Often not being satisfied with where we are in life in comparison to everyone else's story we become shameful of our story unable to realize that maybe Yah is preparing us for something great in a season where it may feel like we're at a stand still or perhaps a season where everything seems to be going wrong. Sometimes seasons where there seems to be nothing happening in our lives according to our wants and desires may very well be a time where Yah is calling us to have a personal relationship and reconnect with Him on a level that we have never connected with Him before...which is where my story begins. My life right now can best be described as one of internal and spiritual change, where I'm questioning everything that I know and am beginning to look at the world with brand new eyes...

According to loved ones I am not supposed to be in the current position that I am at. Graduating with a Masters degree in Public Health last Spring I am supposed to be making big money working for someone or am supposed to be in someone's doctoral program. My parents, from Haiti, ideally would have me in someone's medical school, a dream they groomed me well to pursue during the days of my youth, but one that I found that I had no passion for. Needless to say my choice to pursue a degree in Public Health has been described as "one of the biggest mistakes" that I've could have possibly have made. So currently I am pursuing my dreams with relatively little to no support from parents, whom I grew up pleasing always acquiescing to their wants and desires. This has been an uphill battle for me, the burden that I carry daily with me...One filled with tears and self doubt...but this battle has also been one where I have been able to recognize the presence of Yah in my life and how He has blessed me with people in my life who offer encouragement and support where my parents once did. I am realizing the importance of being deeply rooted in faith in the Most High and trusting that His plan is greater than the plans that I have set up for my life...and I would like to share my story with you and bring honor to His name as He continues to reveal the magnitude of His being in my life.

Beauty Has A Name

Beauty has a name, but many fail to ask,
In a trance by the youth in her appearance,
The ebony brown of her skin,
The curvature of her hips,
Men fail to realize that she is more than a being to be objectified
Thus she politely yet un-appreciatively thanks them as the compliments fall from their lips,
All too aware of the meaning behind their stare...

She often wonders, if one lone among the many
Would ever approach her in a different manner with a gaze more than a sexual stare
One whom would have the pleasure of knowing her mentally, not physically
One who'd engage  in deep conversation with her
More enticed with exploring the mental complexities that make her uniquely her
Instead of the physical desires that lay at their loins

Beauty has a name,
But not too many wish to acknowledge
Thus she remains nameless

LOVE On My Mind

Last night I went to bed with LOVE on my mind

Only to be greeted by LOVE this morning

LOVE kissed me good morning

LOVE held onto me for just moment before getting out of bed

LOVE decided to play a tune, Yusef Lateef to be exact

LOVE took its time with me this morning!

LOVE’s hand gently caressed my body during my morning shower

LOVE took its time, as if it were only I and LOVE in this world alone;

Time seemed to stop, this was our moment!

In a trance, I gave way to LOVE’s every command,

For I knew I was in good hands

LOVE benevolently oiled my body down,

Paying attention to every crevice, no spot was left untouched

I became LOVE’s canvass

LOVE softly stroked my body,

 The only evidence of any emotion left in my body was the soft sigh

that escaped from my lips

Wrapped in LOVE, I laid in bed, unwilling to start the day

LOVE gazed into my eyes, pulled me closer,

And gently yet passionately kissed my lips

Arousing a titillating sensation throughout my body

As if to remind me we have a whole lifetime together

Sensing that I’d rather spend day with LOVE

I dressed in LOVE as LOVE lay in bed and watched me

As if to hold onto this morning’s memory forever

LOVE walked me out the door and kissed my forehead good bye

Damn I should have taken the day off…

I went to bed with LOVE on my mind, last night

And was greeted by LOVE this morning

Loc Journey

Today begins day one of my journey towards self acceptance and beauty as I begin my loc journey. I will post pictures by the weekend or next week Wednesday, taking some time to getting used to.

Inspirational Quote

"I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, & as long as I live, it is a privilege to to do for it, whatever I can."

 

-George Bernard Shaw