Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Built Like a "Black Girl"
***I wrote this in 11/7/2010 and never posted it but in light of recent events in the death of a young woman getting but injections, I thought it was more than appropriate to post this.***
Butt implant death begs question: Do big bottoms lead to the top?
Since I can remember image was everything in my life. Until recently however, I've come to terms that I was not meant to be built the way black girls are supposed to be build according to the psyche of black men, but am content in the slim figure that I've so been blessed with.
Butt implant death begs question: Do big bottoms lead to the top?
Since I can remember image was everything in my life. Until recently however, I've come to terms that I was not meant to be built the way black girls are supposed to be build according to the psyche of black men, but am content in the slim figure that I've so been blessed with.
Growing up I can recall how during my sixth grade year, every girl acquired their hips and were full figured "women" except myself; if anything I had two watermelons for breast, which I was more than uncomfortable with, especially among the gawking eyes of nasty pedophiles---or excuse me older men. Needless to say I mastered the skill of dressing like a tomboy during those years. My uniform culottes were about 2 sizes too big to cover up the fact that my hips had not yet come in and I wore shirts that covered up my abnormal sized breasts. This was the case for as long as I can recall, hoping and praying that my hips would come in and I would one day be a full figured thick black girl, you know the chic with the Coco-Cola Bottled figure. However at age 24, as I continue to evolve into womanhood (an on-going process), my hips have failed to come in according to the definition of what it means to be shaped like a black girl and men may never learn such etiquette such as it is not polite to glare at a woman's "pronounced" features. I've not only come to terms with my body but even more importantly, I am comfortable and accepting of my image, so much so if I catch the opposite sex glaring I'll boldly ask may I help them and school them on the etiquette of being a polite man.
The point in me writing my little spiel is to question when will the black girl's body not be so heavily focused on? Its ridiculous that little girls can not simple be little girls without falling prey to the asinine idea that they must fulfill this bodily image of a coco-cola bottle shaped Kim Kardashian or Buffie the Body! When will she simply get to BE without always being conscious of her body? Granted the illusions of body image is an issue that does not discriminate, when will little girls and in some instances grown women be allowed the simple pleasure to just BE...comfortable and uninhibited without the extreme consciousness of their body make up?
Blog Name Change...
Where in the beginning my blog was more of a personal documentation of my life journey; I have concluded that it has developed itself into not only an extension of myself to you; however, more so of a positive and engaging place for women of color. Emphasizing the fact that despite what society tries to define us as, WE ultimately define who it that we are.
Thus said, as of next week I will be changing the name of the blog to something that is more inclusive to women of color seeking to drown themselves in positivity and goodness in hopes of becoming the virtuous women that we were created to be.
Many Blessings!
This in Black History
In 1990, Nelson Mandela was released from prison after remaining behind bars for 27 years. Mandela was an anti-apharteid activist in South Africa and served as a leader of Umkhonto we Sizwe, an armed nationalist wing of the African National Congress. He was arrested in 1962 and sentenced to life in prison on charges of sabotage. After his release from prison, many of those days which he spent on Robben Island, he lead negotiations for a multi-racial democracy in 1994. He was elected president of South Africa and served from 1994 to 1999. Mandela has won over 250 awards, including the Nobel Peace Prize in 1993.
For Colored Girls
This movie will forever be embedded in my memory. Although not of the generation of Ntozoki Shange's I do own the book, For Colored Girl, but to say the least, this movie was amazing and is definitely DVD purchasing worthy. It not only higlights the struggles the black women but also depict how we overcome those struggles. Hands down it is a riveting movie and I'll definitely be purchasing it tonight.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
My So Called "Incompatibility" w/ Black Men
Lately I've been toiling with the idea of not limiting myself when it comes to men. I've, candidly, always seen myself with a black man and for a long time sworn off any men of the Caucasian race. However lately Ive been having the feeling that maybe I am limiting myself in only opening up myself to men who belong to my race. Through various conversations and personal reflections, I've come to the realization that at the end of the day love has no color. In personally coming to terms with this, I confided in my mother earlier this week that I am opening myself to dating outside of my race at which her response was thank the Lord! Hallelujah!, which is a whole other conversation in itself. Content with my decision I texted three of my male black friends and my close girlfriend to tell them the... I guess... good news.
Their reactions were more along the lines of being shockingly surprised. However one response really had me vexed. One of my male friends responded with "Well maybe it isnt black men, Pascale. Maybe it just might be that you are incompatible with black men." Can you say ARRRG! Like who the hell says that???
Maybe you're not compatible with black men???
Just exactly what makes a black woman compatible with a black man, is what I'd like to know. Is there some type of compatibility test that determines whether black men and black women are compatible with one another? Honestly I've never heard such an ignorant comment.
It ridiculous to think that I have to somehow make myself compatible with black men in order to have a fair chance in the dating game. If I have to change who it is that I am in order to date black men, simply put I dont want any part of it.
Society has really screwed us all up, to even have us think that we need some type of validation from one another. I don't need someone else to dictate to me what it is that I need or am lacking in order to have a fair chance in the world of dating. Its one thing to be critical but that comment was simply over the freaking top!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
My Perspective on the Dynamic of a Man and Woman
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It like the new hip thing to be besides being 16 and pregnant in our community. We're the generation of Kelis' "Ms. Bossy", Beyonce's "Single Ladies", embarrassingly Lil Bossie's "I-N-D-E-P-E-ND-E-N-T", and not to mention new to the movement Helena Andrews' "Bitch is the New Black"...these are all descriptive of the the new craze in our black community...the New Black Feminist Movement. I myself am a self professed feminist but not one characteristic of the aforemenetioned names to the New Black Feminist Movement but one of the likes of Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, Nikki Giovanni, and Maya Angelou and the likes. I am part of the old school Feminist Movement despite my unfledged age of 23 soon to be 24. I am of the movement whence a woman knew her worth and value and walked with grace and class never letting a man degrade her, all the while letting the man take the lead when it came to leadership. I am of the feminist movement so eloquently depicted in Alice Walker's "Temple of My Familiar" when women were equated to gods simply because it is through us that life is brought forth to the world.
Albeit being part of the old school feminist movement I have yet to become so blinded and misguided that my self proclaimed feminism will lead to further destruction of the black family structure..which honestly enough the new feminist movement is doing just that destroying what little of the black family structure is left. For instance at a get together with some friends I honestly and openly said that I would not mind being submissive and subservient to my husband should I one day get married. You can imagine how many sideways glances I received for my so called "backwards" comment. Does the act of being subservient to a man make a woman any less of a woman or a feminist? Which brings me to the point of societies definition of submissiveness and subversiveness. Societies definition of subservient and submissive rubs too many women, specifically black women the wrong way. To some a submissive partner is descriptive of an individual who acquiesces to their partners "commands" while subservient in today's societal definition means to be "inferior" to your partner. Despite these definitions in true woman knows that the these words are not necessarily descriptive of the her role, if you will, in any relationship with he male counter, specifically black male counterpart.
Monday, February 7, 2011
His Validation Is Not Needed
"Stop expecting these brothas to strengthen the self esteems of black women/girls…they didn’t sign up for that, and they’re not signing up now. Please, black women. Seems like we always seek/expect validation from those who are least likely to give it."
From Deborah Willis' Posing Beauty: The Portrait Studio in African American Culture
Friday, February 4, 2011
Call Me Miss. Oblivious
Mix intimidating and oblivious and you get me…
So I’m the type of chick that stays to her self and is dumbfounded when it comes to the opposite sex getting my attention… unless he blatantly states that he is trying to get to know me or someone else point its out…
I’ve never really been the type to harp on every word that a guy states to me unless I of course have a crush on him, which doesn’t happen to often.
I bring this all up after an “encounter” at Bruegger’s Bagels this morning before heading to work. Attempting to wean myself off my daily cheddar spinach meatless omelet on a softwich, I hurried in and grabbed a Naked blue machine. Not wanting to skip the person ahead of me, I wait a little while behind him and noticed that the cashier waved high to me, so I of course wave back to him. He then beckons to me that he is ready to take my payment. I explain to him that I was not trying to skip the person ahead of me as he proceeds to ring me up. So anyway, said cashier then starts up a conversation about his favorite Naked flavors, Strawberry and Mighty Mango and blah blah…as the short conversation continues. Mind you despite this conversation, I’ve been going to Bruegger’s before going into work for like forever, and this particular cashier is definitely not new, cause he has rung me up time and time again, so what’s new? I definitely do not know and hate reading in between lines… but it really messes with me…
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Motherhood…Maybe?
A few months away from my 25th birthday I’ve realized that, I would like to have children after so many years of indecisiveness, not quite sure if I would like to be a career woman in life or mother of maybe two children. My indecisiveness somewhat diminished after about 6 months of being mother to my Lela (my pet Chorkie).
It’s amazing how attached one can become to their pets. I’ve always had pets growing up, but Lela is something else, she is completely dependent on me…not my parents, as my pets growing have been.
There is somewhat of a sense of “I-don’t- have-words-to-describe-it” emotion that overwhelms me when I come home from an 8hrs plus day to her panting and wagging tail upon my entrance to my room. Or the sense of comfort that is felt when she eventually cuddles up next to me when I say night-night at bed-time despite her unwillingness to go to sleep in spite of my sleep deprived eyes; yet full of energy and wanting to play well into the night.
And as pathetic as it might sound I am truly grateful for MyLela (her full name). I almost (mothers correct if I am wrong) feel a hint of motherhood watching my puppy grow from an itty bitty ol’ little thing, less than 1lb to this 3.14lb not too itty bitty quadruped with a big personality and a lot of heart despite her small size. It honestly makes me wonder, why dogs do not go to heaven, as I’ve been told from friends. When I think of our relationship, I think of All American Rejects My Dirty Little Secret, I am afraid that no one will love me as much as my dog…but then again there is a God, so true love does await.
But until true love finds me and I’ve made a committed decision to motherhood, its just me and Lela
It’s amazing how attached one can become to their pets. I’ve always had pets growing up, but Lela is something else, she is completely dependent on me…not my parents, as my pets growing have been.
There is somewhat of a sense of “I-don’t- have-words-to-describe-it” emotion that overwhelms me when I come home from an 8hrs plus day to her panting and wagging tail upon my entrance to my room. Or the sense of comfort that is felt when she eventually cuddles up next to me when I say night-night at bed-time despite her unwillingness to go to sleep in spite of my sleep deprived eyes; yet full of energy and wanting to play well into the night.
And as pathetic as it might sound I am truly grateful for MyLela (her full name). I almost (mothers correct if I am wrong) feel a hint of motherhood watching my puppy grow from an itty bitty ol’ little thing, less than 1lb to this 3.14lb not too itty bitty quadruped with a big personality and a lot of heart despite her small size. It honestly makes me wonder, why dogs do not go to heaven, as I’ve been told from friends. When I think of our relationship, I think of All American Rejects My Dirty Little Secret, I am afraid that no one will love me as much as my dog…but then again there is a God, so true love does await.
But until true love finds me and I’ve made a committed decision to motherhood, its just me and Lela
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Self Worth
"Its time to play a new game. Value comes from daily self improvement and self actualization. If someone happens to like the you that you are, cool. If not thats cool too. You can only be you. What someone else thinks of you, is not your business anyway."
-Zettler Clay
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