Lately I've been toiling with the idea of not limiting myself when it comes to men. I've, candidly, always seen myself with a black man and for a long time sworn off any men of the Caucasian race. However lately Ive been having the feeling that maybe I am limiting myself in only opening up myself to men who belong to my race. Through various conversations and personal reflections, I've come to the realization that at the end of the day love has no color. In personally coming to terms with this, I confided in my mother earlier this week that I am opening myself to dating outside of my race at which her response was thank the Lord! Hallelujah!, which is a whole other conversation in itself. Content with my decision I texted three of my male black friends and my close girlfriend to tell them the... I guess... good news.
Their reactions were more along the lines of being shockingly surprised. However one response really had me vexed. One of my male friends responded with "Well maybe it isnt black men, Pascale. Maybe it just might be that you are incompatible with black men." Can you say ARRRG! Like who the hell says that???
Maybe you're not compatible with black men???
Just exactly what makes a black woman compatible with a black man, is what I'd like to know. Is there some type of compatibility test that determines whether black men and black women are compatible with one another? Honestly I've never heard such an ignorant comment.
It ridiculous to think that I have to somehow make myself compatible with black men in order to have a fair chance in the dating game. If I have to change who it is that I am in order to date black men, simply put I dont want any part of it.
Society has really screwed us all up, to even have us think that we need some type of validation from one another. I don't need someone else to dictate to me what it is that I need or am lacking in order to have a fair chance in the world of dating. Its one thing to be critical but that comment was simply over the freaking top!
i LOVE your blog--i have one question though---where is your follow button????---i'm going to tell my daughters and friends about your blog--its very positive and informative--and the images are beautiful----remain blessed!!!
ReplyDeleteI humbly thank you! I disabled it for some reason but I've enabled it again, so it should be working now, to the right of the screen under the blog archives.
ReplyDeleteWOW, sorry he said that to you! and you are right what is wrong with society? I mean if you have to change who you are to be with a person doesn't that mean it's the wrong person anyway??? SMH I am not a fan of interracial dating because of the drama they have to endure and then their children growing up mixed. But at the same time I wouldn't judge someone because they do. I simply pray for your peace and protection.
ReplyDeleteYou need to tell your make friend maybe the men aren't compatible with you because they are the ones who are suppose to seek YOU. So maybe just maybe they need to step their game up!!! {smile} be blessed